Charred Remains

Have you ever been what is generally termed a “rubbernecker”? This is a person, especially on the road, that slows WAY down when they see an accident, trying to take in all the details.

I couldn’t begin to tell you why, because when I pass an accident, the last thing I want to see is blood, or body parts, or something that’s going to cause ME to get into an accident.

I won’t say that I am never interested in the gory details, however. If someone else witnessed the accident, and they are retelling the story of what happened, I am all in. I wince in all the right places, I hold my breath at the exciting parts, I tense up like I was the one in the car bracing for impact.

And then I walk away shaking my head, feeling sorry for the dummy who just couldn’t be bothered to follow the law.

Judgy much? Yeah, I’m working on it.

“…they passed the charred remains of Mrs. Carmichael’s house. Even though they were on the opposite side of the street and upwind from the ruins, the odor was still noticeable.

“Yes, Noah, it does stink, but it’ll get better.” The smell of smoke and burnt wood was less pronounced than it had been after church yesterday.” -“After the Shadows” by Amanda Cabot

I read this fiction book months ago, and as I read through this part of it I couldn’t help but think that this is sometimes how we respond to trauma, upheaval, and trials in the lives of others.

Perhaps they’ve made choices that have caused their figurative house to burn down. Perhaps they’ve had circumstances thrust upon them that resulted in damage, and the aftermath is clear for all to see.

Or maybe (as is so often the case), God is revealing more of Himself to them through difficulty. Looking from the outside in, we typically only see what we want to see. And that’s usually what makes us feel better about ourselves.

Have you ever seen the charred remains of someone’s life, and instead of asking them how you can help clear the land so they can rebuild, all you can say is “Wow- that stinks!”?

Or perhaps you worry about the ashes getting blown around and coming in your windows, soiling your stuff. How often do we worry how someone else’s trouble will affect us rather than trying to understand how it’s affecting them?

Even if it was their own (or our own) carelessness that caused the fire, it isn’t helpful for us to hold our noses with one hand and pat their shoulder with the other as we say in a nasal voice “Too bad.”

If that house is in our neighborhood (which makes the owner our neighbor), we should be invested in their needs. We should wonder how they’re getting food, where they’re sleeping, if they have enough clothes. We ought to ask how we can help.

And even if we don’t know them that well or at all, we can pray for them, and choose NOT to fill in the blanks of what we don’t know with hurtful speculation.

What stings your nose for a brief moment could mean a whole world of upheaval for someone else.

Let’s determine to show compassion, pitch in where we can, and keep our words from adding to the damage that’s already been done.

Ephesians 4:29-32
(29) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
(30) And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
(31) Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
(32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Galatians 6:1-3
(1) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
(2) Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
(3) For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

Galatians 5:22-26
(22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
(23) Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
(24) And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
(25) If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
(26) Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.