So Helpful…

Have you ever done some thing you thought was helpful, but realized pretty quickly after you did it that it actually wasn’t? That you caused a big problem instead?

Yeah, this is a story about me.

I love my dad. Like REALLY love my dad. He’s one of my favorite people on earth. When I was young, I used to love just driving around with him, running errands, and doing whatever he was doing. He taught me to change the oil in my car, he taught me how to crimp spark plugs, he let me mow the lawn, he played board games with me… We hung out a lot.

We stopped for gas in the middle of running errands once. I don’t think we had the option then to pay at the pump, so my dad pulled over to the parking lot and left the car running with me in it so he could go inside and pay.

[sidebar]

You may not know this, but as a kid I was NOSY. Like, REALLY nosy. I wasn’t very good at sitting still, as is evidenced by me saying “Ready or not, here I come!” to the dental hygienist when she went to take my tooth x-rays once. I also always had to check out the bathroom wherever we were, and sometimes just did a lap or two around my chair at the table, just because it was time to move around.

[back to the story]

Anyway, I wanted to know what he was doing in the gas station. And I probably thought he would buy me something if I showed up at his side. The problem was, I didn’t know how to turn off the car. I knew if I left it running, someone could steal it…such a conundrum.

So guess what I did? I logic-ed my way through that problem and decided to lock all the doors before getting out so no one could get the keys and steal the car. Genius!! I was pretty proud of myself for coming up with that one! I thought my dad would be so proud of me for being so smart.

So I waltzed into the gas station like the intelligent woman I was (at 8 years old), and grabbed my dad’s hand while he talked to someone. Dad didn’t think anything of it, just looked down and smiled.

When he was done talking he asked me for the keys to the car. It took me a sec to wonder why he would ask me that, so I told him the whole story.

Guys, you should’ve seen my dad’s face when I told him what I had done.

Here he was, running errands and having a kid (a BUSY, NOSY) kid beg to tag along. I’m sure I talked his ear off the whole time, and he was taking a respite from me by leaving me in the car while he went to do something quick in the gas station.

And then to have me pop in, puff out my chest, and tell him I’d locked the keys in the car so no one could steal it, but also left it running so it would be cool from the AC…probably the icing on the cake of his day.

And then…AND THEN…

I had the audacity to ask for a special treat.

Face- meet palm.

I obviously STILL didn’t get why what I did was an issue. Until later when we were outside, waiting for the police department or fire department to come and unlock the door through the window with their special hanger tool thingy.

Oh. Oops.

I think I do this to God sometimes. Actually, let me rephrase that. I KNOW I’ve done this to God before.

He sets me up in a safe and comfy spot, and just asks me to wait. He’s working on something else at the moment, (something good that is for me) and if I can just hang in there, I’ll see it all come together in the end.

And instead of patiently waiting with expectation of what my God will do, I fiddle with stuff. I manipulate circumstances to ensure I’ll get what I want, or I say something to a person when God has told me to be quiet, or I’ll drop hints about this or that- hoping to somehow turn the tide in my favor and hurry Him along a little.

And I don’t even see why what I’ve done is so bad.

And then…AND THEN…

I have the audacity to ask for a blessing.

God is so very patient and kind. He has forgiven me again and again and again when I have jumped ahead of His plan, when I’ve not been content to wait and trust Him but instead manipulated and cajoled and fiddled with things.

And, just like my dad, when the dust settles and everything is fine again, He blesses me because He can. Not because I’ve earned it, or deserve it- we both know that’s not true. But because He is love. And He wants me to see and understand that I can trust Him. He is fully in control at all times.

And so next time I’ll sit and wait patiently in the car.

Psalm 27:14
“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart:
wait, I say, on the LORD.”

Proverbs 3:5-8
(5) Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
(6) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
(7) Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
(8) It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Psalm 18:30-33
(30) As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried:
he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
(31) For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God?
(32) It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.
(33) He maketh my feet like hinds’ feet, and setteth me upon my high places.