Love ’em Like Jesus

I had an interesting experience yesterday morning.

I needed to withdraw some cash, and the closest ATM to my house that doesn’t charge a fee is in a gas station on my way to work. The night before, I was trying to think of where I could park so as not to block anyone’s way. (I hate when people park next to the people at the pumps- no one can ever get through!)

So I decided to park at a pump since I would only be inside a few minutes. As I was pulling up to the pump, a van pulled up at the one in front of me head-on. I guess he couldn’t get his tank close enough to the pump, because he whipped out of the spot and squealed his tires, and sped around to the other side of the gas station. (Where there were eight pumps available.)

I turned my surprised head back around, thinking it was pretty early in the morning for that, and went in to use the ATM.

The man driving the van was waiting for me.

“Parking in front of the *$@!ing pump and not even *$@!ing pumping *$@!ing gas? [pause for dramatic effect] *$@!ing cow!” Then he turned and stomped away.

Um, okay…

I used the ATM, then went out to my car, and cried all the way to work. I texted my hubby and my bestie to ask them to pray for me. I couldn’t shake the man’s words, the sound of his voice, or the furious look on his face, from my mind. (He wasn’t wearing a mask, so I could see his angry expression.)

At work I kept replaying what happened, and cried again. The interaction really left me rattled.

Maybe you think I am ridiculous. Well, I can’t help it- I’m a sensitive gal. And I hate confrontation. Especially unexpected, public confrontation. It’s pretty much my worst nightmare. This man not only hurt my feelings, he scared me, too. He wasn’t a small guy.

Of course when I calmed down a bit and felt mad instead of hurt, I thought of a million things I could’ve said to him in the moment. Things like: “Would it make you feel better to just punch me in the face? Go ahead!” Or, something my high school World History teacher would’ve said: “Who peed in your Corn Flakes this morning?” And the Pre-Jesus me might’ve actually said both of them. With an attitude.

But the Lord smote my heart. My word for the year is ‘Purpose’. And He reminded me that my companion word for this month is ‘Speak’. I have been focusing on ‘speaking with purpose’.

Oh, boy.

In that moment my heart was actually turned toward thanksgiving. I thanked the Lord for a husband who is gentle of speech and has NEVER spoken to me like that. I thanked God for my children who have never spoken to me or each other like that. I thanked God that I grew up in a house where people didn’t talk to each other like that. I thanked God that I am His child and am surrounded by people who love me and encourage me and pray for me whenever I ask.

I got a text reply from my sweet hubby who said he was sorry it happened, but he was praying for me, and the Lord would renew my mind. I would be okay. And my bestie sent a sweet video of her and her daughter wishing me a better day. Sweetness.

My heart felt a bit lighter after that.

And then the Lord brought the words of the song Reckless Love to mind:

“Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God.
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, Leaves the ninety-nine.
I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away.
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God.”

And then I was crying again- but for a totally different reason. I was completely overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord. The love of God is sure, constant, unfailing, gracious- and He has lavished it on me!! I don’t deserve God’s love. I could never be good enough to earn God’s love. And yet He gave Himself for me.

And for the driver of the van.

Sigh.

Preach the Gospel to yourself every day. You need to be reminded, just like I do.

My heart smitten again, the Lord reminded me of this scripture:
Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Mat 5:45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
Mat 5:46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?Mat 5:47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?Mat 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Is that a hard pill to swallow? After the Lord brought that scripture to mind, I honestly thought that I should’ve asked the man if I could buy his gas.

Love him. Do good to him. Bless him.

The problem is, I don’t want to believe that Jesus expects me to be that drastic or radical. Especially after the man not only publicly wounded my pride, but also seriously hurt my feelings, and scared me in the process. I could easily convince myself that in saying nothing rude back to him that I was doing more than enough good to him. But in my heart I wasn’t really wishing him good. I wasn’t loving him. I wasn’t praying blessing on him.

There are a lot of action words in the commandments of verse 44. Love. Bless. Do good. Pray. It isn’t ‘Do good to those who are good to you’, or ‘Love those who will love you back’. Or ‘Follow through as long as it doesn’t cost you anything.’

If I truly want to reflect God (who is my Father), then I need to purpose to take action. Perhaps especially when it feels drastic or radical. Especially when it costs me something of myself, and requires me to do battle with my flesh.

Because God’s love for me wasn’t cheap or passive. It cost Him a lot. He chose to be a sacrifice for me. He was publicly beaten and ridiculed. He was unjustly judged. He was crucified, and took the penalty for my sin. That’s a much bigger price than hurt feelings and wounded pride.

How different could my responses to others be if I truly adopted this philosophy of ministry? Who might I reach with the love of Christ that I might not otherwise? What does God want to change or stretch in me in order to make me more like Himself?

My heart did come around, and I sincerely prayed for the driver of the van. And not that he would ‘get what was coming to him’, either. I prayed for him to have a face-to-face with Jesus, so he could experience real love. And soon. For his life to be blessed. For him to become a powerful man of God, and use his boldness for the Lord’s purposes.

And you know what? My day got a whole lot brighter after that. It really did.

Love your enemies.

Bless them that curse you.

Do good to those who hate you.

Sincerely pray for those who would insult you and slander you.
(That’s what despitefully use you means, btw.)

Oof. Help, Lord!