Have you ever seen a bug or spider, and been creeped out by it? (More than once, perhaps?) Maybe it’s on the wall behind the couch, and you keep an eye on it from across the room to make sure it isn’t going to jump on you. Or it’s behind your spouse, and they’re having a quiet moment, relaxed, just enjoying their coffee, most likely talking to God, and you don’t want to ruin it- so you don’t tell them.
And this bug/spider has stayed in place a really long time without moving, so you’re aren’t even sure it’s alive, and you don’t want to risk disturbing it- but you know it could jump at any moment and ruin the quiet, so you slide off your seat as carefully and silently as you can, and bend down to grab your shoe to kill it. But you can’t actually find your shoe right in this moment, so you look down and see your hand is 1/2″ away from the edge of it. So you roll your eyes and grab it, ready to go to war.
And when you work your way back up, that bug/spider is gone! You blink a couple times to make sure it really disappeared, and then you’re immediately aware of all of your surroundings, glancing around frantically at the floor while turning in circles, in case it’s trying to creep up on you from behind. You could never actually spot it at the speed you’re spinning, but it’s always worth a shot, isn’t it? At least that’s what my mind tells me.
Has that ever happened to you?
The first house we lived in when we moved to Zambia had black tiles on most of the floors. Which you think would be helpful for not seeing all the dirt and grime every minute, like white tile would show. And for that, it was helpful. But when we tried to kill a bug, and it just fell down from the wall or chair or whatever, we could never find it again. And we didn’t know if it had really died, or had gotten away, and was hiding in a corner somewhere just waiting to pounce on us.
It wasn’t like I sat around in my free time wondering where that bug/spider went. I didn’t come up with scenarios where I imagined him (are bugs always guys in your mind?) going out and putting out the call for all the others to come and invade our home now that we had tried to kill him. Or how he might be plotting to fall from the ceiling into a pot I was filling at the sink. Or how he might be hiding in my shoe, just waiting for me to pick it up, or try to slide my toes in, and then pounce on me.
I really didn’t do that. Often.
Though I tend to do that with other things in my life. Things way more important than where a bug/spider went. Things like ‘What will we do if one of us loses our job due to COVID?’, or ‘I sent an email to so-and-so yesterday, but they didn’t reply yet. Did I say something offensive and not realize it?’ or ‘I have overbooked myself. How am I going to choose what to get out of?’ or any number of topics relating to my children.
I have a very active imagination. And it loves to taunt me, especially in the night, when I’ve snuggled down in bed, I’ve had my good night talk with the Lord, and I am ready to float into unconscious dreamland. Suddenly I’ll snap awake in full-on anxiety mode, and every possible negative scenario that could happen will try to rush through my mind all at once. I get panicky, I feel nauseated, my face gets flushed, and I can’t go back to sleep.
Many times that feeling forces me to my knees, begging God to work out the details, to calm my heart and mind, and to be in the situation from start to finish.
And it isn’t like these are things I haven’t yet prayed about. Many times it’s things I’ve even fasted about. But for some reason, fear overtakes me at various times and in irrational ways. If I was talking to my hubby (or a friend) and shared my thoughts, they surely would talk me down from the edge of panic, and reassure me that it’s just my mind in overdrive, and that those things won’t happen.
Except sometimes they do.
Sometimes that spider is waiting to pounce on you. Sometimes your kids do things you have issues with. Sometimes people will be upset by something unintended in an email or text. Sometimes you overbook yourself. Sometimes you lose your job.
But that doesn’t change the fact that God is in control. He is never surprised by my circumstances. He isn’t even surprised by my response to circumstances. What I need to remind myself of during these episodes when my mind wants to go crazy and play out all the ‘what ifs’ in full color, is that God has a plan. That He is always good. That He is working, and not asleep. When I am awake in the night freaking out, He is right there with me, ready to listen.
I do find that pouring my heart out to God in those moments helps me so much. Even if I sound desperate (which I usually am). Reciting scripture to myself of all the promises of God, and saying them back to Him also helps. Remembering all the Lord has brought me through is also key. Praising Him for past victories is such a boost for my heart. He is GOOD and STRONG and THERE every time.
Even if all the things happen. Even then.
If you find yourself struggling with anxiety and fear at times, maybe these scriptures will help you, too. Know you aren’t alone. I’ve been there many times.
1 Corinthians 1:3-11
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; (4) Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. (5) For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. (6) And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. (7) And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation. (8) For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life: (9) But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead: (10) Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us; (11) Ye also helping together by prayer for us, that for the gift bestowed upon us by the means of many persons thanks may be given by many on our behalf.
Psalm 121:5-8
(5) The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand. (6) The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. (7) The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. (8) The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.
Psalm 118:4-9
(4) Let them now that fear the LORD say, that his mercy endureth for ever. (5) I called upon the LORD in distress: the LORD answered me, and set me in a large place. (6) The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? (7) The LORD taketh my part with them that help me: therefore shall I see my desire upon them that hate me. (8) It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. (9) It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.
Psalm 23
A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. (2) He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. (3) He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. (4) Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. (5) Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. (6) Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Matthew 10:29-31
Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. (30) But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. (31) Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
Psalm 139:7-18
Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? (8) If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. (9) If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; (10) Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. (11) If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. (12) Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. (13) For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. (14) I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. (15) My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. (16) Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. (17) How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! (18) If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
1 Peter 1:3-9
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, (4) To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, (5) Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. (6) Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: (7) That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: (8) Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: (9) Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. (6) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Philippians 4:6-9
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (7) And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (8) Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (9) Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
Romans 8:26-31
Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. (27) And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. (28) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (29) For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. (30) Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. (31) What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
Isaiah 40:28-31
Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. (29) He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. (30) Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: (31) But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Matthew 11:28-30
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (29) Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. (30) For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Of Faith & Fortitude 
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