Acid Tongues and Pious Minds

“There’s nothing so deadly as an acid tongue driven by a pious mind.” 
-Canon Whitbread, The Grave’s a Fine and Private Place

Hopefully no one you know comes to mind when you hear this quote. 

When I first read this in a book, it struck me as amazingly profound with its truth. An acid tongue driven by a pious mind is a deadly thing indeed. I wanted to define these ideas to make sure I understood them, and not just assume what they meant. 

Acid tongue:
A sharp or severe manner of speaking, especially one characterized by cutting or acerbic remarks.
– acerbic means:
1. (especially of a comment or style of speaking) Sharp and forthright.
2. Tasting sour or bitter.

The words of a person whose comments are sharp and forthright also come across as sour or bitter to the hearer. If the hearer is me, I will probably not receive them, even if they are truth, because they are wrapped in sharpness. I don’t do well with sharp words. Actually, I cry. Most of the time it isn’t because my feelings are hurt, it’s because I’m mad (and possibly embarrassed and offended) and don’t want to punch you in the throat. So I cry instead. 

Makes total sense, right? Lord help me!

The Bible tells us that if our heart is wise, we will teach our mouth. And the word teach here means we will be circumspect and prudent. Let’s look at the scripture I’m referencing:

Proverbs 16:23-24
(23) The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.
(24) Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

We have to know how to approach the people around us- especially if we are coming to them to confront them about a sin issue. We have to make sure our heart is wise, and we are coming to the person in love and humility. How do I know we should confront in love and humility? Because verse 24 says our words should be sweet to the soul and health to the bones. That sounds like approaching someone in love and humility to me. 

Now let’s take a look at the word pious. (Note the ASL version, right.)

Pious:
1. Making a hypocritical display of virtue.
2. Those who make a show of their religiousness and use it to assert their superiority.
3. Devoutly religious.

I admit I have been like this. I have spoken from a place of self-righteousness and not love. I have made a show of my religiousness to assert superiority over another person. It is a despicable thing to do, and I am thankful the Lord has convicted me of it, and continues to work in my heart and life to change me from the person I was. Hallelujah!

The first person I thought of when I read this quote though, surprisingly, was not me. (Ha! Do I ever see myself first in these circumstances? If I’m honest, my fingers point a lot of places before I see the Lord’s finger pointing at me!) I actually thought of Rachel Lynde from Anne of Green Gables.  

How often do we see her with her mouth open, ready to lambaste those who come across to her as foolish or sinful? Or just blurting out unsolicited advice, or her opinion? When you see her come on screen, does your heart get a warm, fuzzy feeling? Or do you cringe a little on the inside, knowing what is coming for Anne, or Marilla, or whoever else happens to be in the room?

Her acid tongue is certainly driven by a pious mind. She is not motivated by love for others. She is convinced she knows what is best, and that she is living in a far more godly manner than those she ‘advises’. And while she may not state it outright, she certainly alludes to it by saying things like “I knew this would happen…” or “If that was my child…” or “I would never allow…”

Have you ever pulled a Rachel Lynde?

We have to be careful that we don’t let our words come from a place of self-righteousness or a pious mind. When we think we are above sin, or certain circumstances happening to us or our family, we need to be careful. The Bible actually has a lot to say about our tongue and our words.

James 1:26
 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.

The key here is ‘seem to be religious’. The definition of religious in this verse actually means pious!! You can look religious, but that doesn’t mean you are walking closely to the Savior. Seeming to be something is certainly not the same as actually being something! This verse says that if you seem religious (pious), but can’t control your tongue, then your religion (worship) is vain (empty, profitless, an idol).

I don’t think any of us want to fall into that category.

More scripture on the tongue:
James 3:5-8
(5) Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
(6) And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
(7) For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:
(8) But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

We can control a great many things, but we all struggle with controlling our tongue at times. I think we forget that in the power of it we hold death and life. Have you ever thought of that? Your words hold the power of death and life. They can make the difference in how another person responds to the Lord. They can influence how another person sees themselves. They can change the way another person sees you. We need to be careful with that power we have been given.

Colossians 4:6
Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

In this verse the word grace means: “…especially the divine influence upon the heart, and its reflection in the life.” Do your words reflect divine influence on your heart?

I think of someone else from Anne of Green Gables when I read that last verse. I think of Matthew. He was such a gentle person. Don’t you just sigh when you see his picture, like you just want to give him a big hug? He was a gracious speaker, even when Anne had made a big mess of things; even when Rachel was being harsh; even when he disagreed with Marilla. He was gentle. His words were gracious. He seasoned them with salt (prudence)- he didn’t shove a salt lick in the other person’s face to get them to taste the truth. He never made a show of asserting superiority.

I’m not saying there isn’t a time and place for us to use sharper words with someone; I know sometimes it is necessary. Most of the time I believe we are to be gentle. This verse says our words are always to be gracious. We should always reflect the divine influence on our heart. We have to weigh our words, and think about how the other person might receive them. We will be much more effective if we do that.

How often did Anne run to Matthew to confide in him, and get counsel from him before he died? He was the one she went to with her troubles and sorrows, and he always had a good word for her. How different would their relationship have been if he had been sharp with her, and not chosen to be gracious with his words?

How different could your relationships be if your words were always gracious?

Lord help me not to have my words driven by a pious mind, but by a heart that loves others and wants to see the best for them. Help my words to reflect Your divine influence, and be seasoned with salt. Help me to speak only when You prod, and in a way that is pleasing to You, and beneficial to others.