Our puppy Frasier is a rescue. He was a street dog in Puerto Rico, and we have no idea all the trauma or abuse he faced before he was rescued and we were able to adopt him.
He has lots of little behaviors that are evidence of his being abused and neglected. He barks at everyone who comes into our house for any reason. And he doesn’t usually stop until they leave. If he gets unexpectedly awakened from a nap, he stands and barks immediately, before his eyes are even open, without knowing what is going on.
He took two or three weeks to get used to my husband, and still has trust issues with him if I’m not home. He runs in the complete other room when other men come to the house and WILL NOT go past them, especially when he has to go outside and ‘do his business’ . *ahem*
He won’t even sleep on the bed we bought him because he doesn’t know what to do with it. Poor guy.
At first all these things were cute because he was small, underweight, he looked vulnerable, and we knew he was scared. We were going to love him into rehabilitation. And he was going to be the best dog ever because our love was true and fervent, and we were so kind.
He just didn’t know it yet.
Fast forward a few weeks, and those behaviors that endeared him to us, and proved how much he needed us have grown annoying. Barking at guests is not pleasant, and prevents us from having people in the house for any length of time. The not trusting my husband is also annoying for a variety of reasons. The doing his business in the house because he’s too afraid to go past people he doesn’t know to make it outside on time is no longer cute. (Was it ever really cute?)
It’s draining. It’s annoying. It’s bothersome. It’s time-consuming.
We still love our dog, but we feel like saying “Come ON! Can’t you see how much we love you!! We are taking such good care of you!! Just be a good dog already!” Don’t you think that would motivate him to just stop all those behaviors? I mean, that’s pretty reassuring, right?
But the truth it, he can’t. He has lots of hurts and fears all bottled up inside him, and no way to share them with me. (Did you know that dogs can’t talk in real life? It’s true.)
So we’re going to have to work through issues together, as behaviors reveal themselves, until he learns that he is safe and loved and okay.
You know, there are a lot of people we will meet in life who are like our rescue dog. They’ve experienced trauma and abuse. And perhaps at first we befriend them because we can see how ‘desperately they need us’. They are afraid of everyone, they jump up and ‘bark’ when startled, they don’t trust people, they just seem vulnerable and scared, and they make messes everywhere.
And we’re going to love them into recovery because our love is true and fervent and we are so kind. Right?
But after we’ve invested in them for awhile, and shared all the secrets of scripture on how to be brave and full of faith, they still haven’t changed. I mean, the truth is right there in front of them, and I’ve been praying for them every day- why are they still struggling?
Because trauma can take a long time to heal. There is no quick fix to get over it. It isn’t just ‘drop a truth bomb on them and they’ll fall at your feet in gratitude’. If they aren’t to the point where they can even talk about their experiences yet, then the road you will walk with them is going to be a rather long one.
Don’t get tired of the journey. Lace up your walking shoes and get ready for a marathon.
Keep reassuring them of God’s love and truth. Help them clean up their messes. When they respond by ‘barking’ to situations that to them are scary, don’t lose your cool or your temper, or your motivation to stay invested.
Even when things seems like they’ll never change. Even when you don’t think they’ll ever trust that they can be truly loved. Even when they fight against you to test your proclamations of love and care, don’t give up on them.
Jesus has been so kind to me, walking my long road with me, assuring and reassuring me of His love. How can I do less for those He brings along my path?
He is love. Do you know the definition of love?
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
(4) Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
(5) Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
(6) Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
(7) Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
If you look up the word charity in these verses, it means love, affection, benevolence; specifically A LOVE FEAST. And the same word in the Greek is used in the scripture that tells us that God is love. He’s a love feast!!
So if we want to help malnourished and traumatized people that God brings into our lives, we have to love them as He loved us. As He loves THEM. Feed them from the love feast that is God and being His child. Eventually things will get better.
We just can’t get tired on the journey because it’s taking longer than we want it to. The love (love feast!!) of Christ constrains us.
Love is patient.
Love bears all things.
Love hopes all things.
Love endures all things.
Love others as God loves you.
*Disclaimer: this was written months ago and Frasier has since not only loved his bed, but destroyed it. He is good friends with Jimmy now, and he has gained a healthy weight. He’s a happy pup!*
Of Faith & Fortitude 
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