Picky Friendship

Have you ever had to make the painful decision to ‘cut someone loose’?

Perhaps they were a lifelong friend who no longer acted like a friend. Or maybe it was someone you met later in life who filled a role for a while, and then became more harmful than good. Or maybe it was even a family member who was consistently hurtful to you or your children. 

Or maybe you’re in that situation right now and you don’t know what to do. 

Whatever the case, it can be a very hard decision, especially if you will continue to see this person on a regular basis. Other people may not understand, and you may not want to explain your reasons to them.

And you don’t have to. Our culture may think otherwise, but your private decisions aren’t anyone else’s business. If you have peace with the Lord, then that is enough. 

People may say things to you like: 
– “Oh, but you were such good friends!” 
– “I thought you two were perfect for each other!”
– “Well what are you gonna do now?”
– “What did you do? She wouldn’t stop being your friend for no reason.”
– “How can you just throw away a friendship of twenty years?!?”

You can just reply with this because it is true:
“Sometimes your circle decreases in size, but increases in value.” 

The role of a friend is an important and precious one. We need to be careful who we allow into that role in our lives. Not only as young people; adults make bad decisions about who they keep company with all the time. And sometimes we’re more stubborn than young people when it comes time to cut the cord with someone because we overthink things. Or we worry about what that person will say to other people about us now. 

But we can’t let those thoughts trap us into keeping company with people who are hurting us emotionally, physically, or spiritually. 

I used to be the kind of person who was friends with EVERYONE. I liked everyone, but more importantly, I wanted everyone to like ME. 

My line of ‘friends’ was a mile long, but a half inch deep. That didn’t give me much to hold onto when a strong storm came blowing my way. There isn’t much value in having people in my life that don’t actually share my LIFE. 

A friend will influence us, guide us, knows our deepest thoughts and feelings, encourages us, is there when we need them the most to support us, shares important and wonderful moments with us, rebukes us in love when we are getting off course, and is a glimpse of the love of God. 

If your friend doesn’t fit what the scriptures say a true friend should be, then maybe it’s time for your circle to decrease in size so it can increase in value. 

Jesus chose twelve. TWELVE. Out of thousands that were following Him and said they loved Him. He was choosy. He had criteria He wanted to see met in these men who would share the most awful and beautiful moments of His earthly life, and then be trusted to spread His Word with the world. 

It’s okay to be choosy about who you are friends with. 

We can all be a better friend to someone in our life. Read through these scriptures and see if you fit the definition of a friend today. Maybe the Lord would speak to you about making some changes. I know I was challenged.

1 Corinthians 15:33
Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. [communications means companions]

Proverbs 27:9
Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.

Proverbs 18:24
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

John 15:12-13
(12) This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
(13) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.